Zoo Day!

I really do plan to post about the day tomorrow, but tonight, I am DEAD tired, it was traffic city with the problems on the freeway...ugh. But boy, did we have fun!

Living Room blanket forts

I have such happy memories of doing this as a kid. Emptying out my mom's linen/blanket closet and making a tent city in the living room. Good times... It was awesome to watch the kids come up with the idea on their own. I am always rather surprised in this age of high tech toys at the things that bring the biggest response. When I told them they could use the kitchen chairs, they were happier than Christmas.
Like all good engineers they started to get fancy, they learned which blankets do best as a base, which slip off, they started using the tops to my rubbermaid containers as doors.

Blissfully Domestic: Leaving the kids with Dad

I really like reading the blog over at Blissfully Domestic its one of my morning reads. Recently, their article was about giving dad his own time with the kids. Which was a lesson I had to learn very early or go insane. When we only had Emma, the poor guy had never been left alone with her, not because I didn't trust him, but somehow I got the notion in my head that it was my "job". Plus I was a little hyper involved. (Yes dear, I am willing to admit this now), with just one child, I was able to handle it, I didn't need the help and I knew he had been working hard. I mistakenly thought I was doing something "nice" for him.

When I had Chloe, the scales tipped. Immediately pregnant with John, caring for a newborn, and a 2 year old, all of a sudden, I needed him. I needed him desperately and fully trained RIGHT NOW. Sounds fair right? This also coincidentally was a hard part of our marriage. I needed help desperately, but I hadn't trained him to help me (I don't mean that in an insulting way). I had blown past him and prevented him from having the same experience I had. Whenever he had tried to help, I would have taken over. He hadn't had the opportunity to do his own trial and error.

Removing him from the "thick of the fray" also meant that he couldn't really empathize, he hadn't experienced the same things. Now I have to say at the outset Brian has never ever intentionally criticized my mothering skills or housekeeping abilities. But he would make "suggestions" trying to be "helpful". Even though they came from a good place, it made me crazy, it was like Monday morning quarterbacking to me. But in a sense, it was my own fault. Of course he was able to calmly evaluate the situation from an outside perspective..... Duh Jen!

Giving him his own time with the kids, without me legislating that he follow all the usual rules or do it my way, has had an awesome effect on us for the better. All of the above changed, the kids got to bond with Dad in an entirely different way. In their own way, without me being any part of it. I learned to butt out and realized that my way isn't better, its just different. The kids need a Dad who will feed them ice cream for breakfast, let them dress in their summer clothes during winter, go without brushing their hair, wear mismatched shoes and socks. He has taught them how to play fun games, how to run until they practically fly, how to play video games, and how much fun it is to be tickled until you almost wee yourself.

At the same time, leaving him with all the kids in full trust has given him a glimpse into what my days are like. What its like to try to fix a meal when everyone is in full whine mode, or how much fun it is to clean a room only to have the children follow after you messing it up. I think it has been a big huge plus for us all around.



I have to thank Keeling over at Confessions of a Mommy Blogger for giving me two bloggy awards. Check her out. She has some pretty great tips and the cutest family ever. Thank you!!! There is a whole ceremony associate with these that I will do in the next post!

What happens when the waiter takes too long

Last night Brian decided to pamper me and take me out for dinner, .... with four children. It was awesome, we went to Red Lobster, which happens to be the place we have gone for so many of our special events. It was where we went to eat after we eloped at the courthouse.

John hadn't had a bath in recent memory, so it seemed like a good idea to bathe him since he was starting to outstink the dog. How did things get this way? He likes baths as much as our cat. So I threw him in the shower and held the door shut until he got wet enough to shampoo his hair. So for about 15 minutes he screamed at me in the shower, and then for another 10 minutes after. Again like the cat, he holds a grudge. Five minutes into our restaurant trip, he feel asleep from sheer exhaustion.

The waiter was a little slow this the service, and so I lent the kids my camera for something to do, which is how I got the Chloe montage

The Hubs is home

Even though I couldn't sleep last night, it was so nice to have Brian in bed, not in an xrated way, but just knowing he was there, breathing...... and snoring. I know its icky sweet, but I miss him when he is gone. So now I can sit around all day writing My name and his with lots of hearts and smiley faces, thats productive... he is actually going to be home again tonight! Its like the husband jackpot!

Momversation Monday: Homeschooling

Whats that? Its not Monday? Yeah you are right, but we had movie night last night and my brain wasn't in the right place. So, homeschooling.. I have to start out by saying I have a bias. We homeschool our kiddos and I was homeschooled in middle school back in the eighties, when no one even knew what it was. I was homeschool, when homeschool wasn't cool. (yeah sorry, had to go all Barbara Mandrell).

I knew all about the flaws of homeschooling when we began thinking about it. I hadn't kept up with the movement and so I expected it to be the way it was for me. Pretty dry textbooks, no social life, sitting at home with mom at the kitchen table. Imagine my surprise, now its all modern and high tech. When I was being homeschooled most people had chosen it for religious reasons, not educational reasons. It always felt like the goal was to separate your children from the big, bad world and not expose them to the evils of society. I understand that impulse, I tend to want to shelter my kids. But at the same time I think it would be a mistake. I see my role as preparing them to live, and to succeed in society as a whole. So that isn't why we homeschool.

We homeschool for many very interconnected reasons. And most people these days do. First, because it fits well into our family schedule. When Emma was attending Public Kindergarten, she rarely got to see her daddy. Both of them were miserable. Homeschooling lets us be flexible, when Brian is off during the week he usually helps out with school, or hangs about during school. The kids love it.

An even bigger part of our reasoning was our opinion of public education. We think public schools have been forced (by legislation, not that they are monsters) to remove all the creative learning from their curriculum and teach for standardized testing. I am not interested in having a child who can take a test well, but I am interested in having a well educated child. Bigger classes means less individual learning and usually material is presented with only one type of learner in mind.

Your child doesn't catch onto her multiplication facts? well, so sorry but we can't hold up the whole class for just one child. Luckily with homeschooling we can zoom past what they easily learn and work on what they struggle with until its mastered. For us, it has fit easily into our lives for now. it could change. We try not to make sweeping statements about what we will be doing "forever". We know for now this is right for us.

I am not of the opinion that everyone should homeschool. I'm not a homeschool snob. I don't even think it is for everyone. I really love it, I always loved teaching, I have degrees and training that made it a tiny bit easier for me maybe and I think I am a pretty patient woman with my kids, I have a husband who is totally on board and supportive of the decision..... all that, and I have to tell you, Its freaking hard. It takes much of my time and I don't just mean the actual teaching, but the lesson planning, the advance reading I do on what we are studying, the prep for the next day. It doesn't leave me much time for myself. I also have to squeeze in all those wifey and household chores during the day too. If I didn't love it, I would start to resent it. If Brian wasn't as on board with this, he would resent me doing it. If I didn't have the ability to be patient with the kids, they would start to resent me a little and I don't think it would be a positive experience for them or much fun.

Im aLIIIVVVVe!!!!!!!!

I know what you were thinking. "Geez, give this chick one blog award, it all goes to her head and she closes up shop". Or if you are my friend Carrie, who I told that my greatest fear, and a very macabe fear is that Brian will be out of town for a very long time and no one will find my body if something unfortunate were to happen... well, then you are really worried. No way man! I sorta got steamrolled last week by some combination of icky side effects, not little time, and too much to do. Thank GOODNESS everything is evening out physically. I also got a little sidetracked by some fiction writing I have done. So anyway, nope I am not lying in a ditch somewhere in my very clean underwear making my mother proud. I'm back, and very very happy to be so.