So we figured out what all this sickness was. Apparently we were exposed to mono (*cough* Brian *cough*). I really thought there was something more serious wrong, I was just SOOOOOOOOO tired, running the vacuum made me feel like I ran a marathon! It lasted for about four weeks for us.
Although most of our symptoms have subsided, we are still going to take it really easy this week. If we push ourselves, we can relapse.. so we are just going to try to take it really slow this week.
This is so hard for me. I have guilt issues that even I don't understand. I think I spend so much time pushing my wants and needs aside to keep on plugging for the famiy that I am not used to just listening to myself. We haven't been doing school like we normally do. Of course its understandable, but at the same time, I hate it. I shouldn't feel this way, we school year round, its not like I have to worry about a day here or there, but I do.
I teach, or lead classes on Tuesday and Thursday and I have felt so badly for not being able to fulfill those obligations for what seems like an awfully long time. Brian keeps reminding me that folks will understand, but I get all anxious and freaky about not being able to do it.
In a weird way all this has been a growing experience for me. I have been physically unable to do what I normally do, at the pace we normally go. It has forced me to prioritize and to take myself seriously. I have been forced to say no, its been good for me to wade through all those feelings.